Friday, January 23, 2015

Let me share something.

Hello everybody out there .
I got some spare time so I think I'm gonna share something .
Well as you can see the picture up there .
It's what I'm going to talk about .
Let's start shall we then ? 

Family is a every common word found everywhere around the world.
Some people don't have complete families. 
Know what I mean ?
For examples , people who don't have parents or other close relatives .
Maybe they lost them in a tragedy or any other reasons thou . 
But please remember peoples , 
there is always someone out there , who will treat you like family.
Family doesn't always need to share the same blood. 
Friends could be your family .
Anyone could be your family .

So peoples out there , don't lose hope okay ? 
Just keep moving forward .
Keep thinking positive and don't even think of doing any stupid stuff over there .
Cause God made us , to live a life of our own .
Cherish it cause some people don't even have a chance.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Here I'm saying hello again to my blog

Helloo there peoples ,
It's been a long time since I updated my blog.
Dusty blog I'm having here .

So it's the new year I supposed .
2015 .
I'm dusting the weight on my shoulder for so long .
Yess , I'm letting go of something that I never thought I would in a million years.
I'm strong enough to go through this .
Plus I realise many other things through out this year and also 2014 

I gain friends , new ones and I'm glad the old ones never left .
I'm working out again to get a better me and that sexy body I've been wanting .
I realise some hidden enemies too .
But I'll dust them off some way .
I'm slowly getting out of my shell I guess . 
But there's no getting out of anything without grandma's approval .

I'm scare of checking my first semester result cause I know I didn't do very well back then .
I'm getting to like the feel of studying I guess 
and I kinda sort of liking history class now.
I guess that's a big change for me .

Boyfriends come and go right ? 
It's hard for me to let this one thing go but I have to .
Paksa ja la , apa boleh buat kan ? 
It's not the end of life .
Someone once told me , don't want someone who doesn't even want you.
Soo , goodbye sweet boy . 
Let this be a memory that we once know 
and also a lesson to learn . 
We can't forget the memories so let it stay where it belong cause one day we'll laugh over it .
It was fun , and in the first time I felt loved . 
Thankyouu for everything . 
Hope you find someone better than me . 
That will suit your kind of personality.

I gain so many guy friends . 
and now I know what they mean about having guy friends are better than having girl friends .
It's fun tu hangout with them . 
Talking to them on the phone . 
Whatsapp and wechating . 
Fun and funny .
They have a sense of humour and I can easily discuss something with them . 
To my guy friends : stay just the way you all are , xoxo.

I'm getting ready for my second semester exam and kerja kursus.
Wish me luck .
I'll write again if I have the time . 
You all stay pretty and humble k ? 
xoxo ;)

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Everything I though you never were .

I remember all the things I wrote here .
All the things that made me happy .
That made me think that maybe I've found my one and only
I thought about forever .
I believed again .
I trusted again .
I loved again .
I cared again .
I protect again .
And most of all , I put together my broken heart pieces together again little by little .
I thought of our future .
Kids , Homes , Family .
How only 1 hour even 1 minute not texting or call you would torture me .
How much that I've missed you .
How long I've waited for you here to come and hug me .
How broken was my heart when you didn't come .
I get upset about the silliest things , the smallest thing .
You said that I'm over thinking when you didn't pick up my calls or reply my texts .
What am I suppose to do ? Sit here and wait ?
You having secret relationships with other girls have been on my mind for like a thousand times but you keep assuring me that you don't .
It's like you wouldn't do me wrong .
The most important thing is that you told me you weren't like the others .
But maybe I saw something wrong back then from what I see now .

You cheated on me .
You fucking cheated on me when you assure me that you wouldn't .
You said you wouldn't play with someone's heart cause you're scared that Karma will arrived at you're son's or daughter's life .
Kau bilang dosa besar ba tu .
Pathetic .
Saying one thing and meaning another .
I know everything but I kept calm and ask you .
But your answers just didn't put up .
You lied again and again .

You two get out a lot .
I know I'm not the easy-to-get-out type like her but I've been waiting for that one day where we could meet up , a time when it's not me who plans it .
Besides meeting each other , what did you two do ?
Thinking of possible things you are capable of makes me sick .
I just wanna shout at you to get out , don't touch me ever again .
I cried and cried . I'm stupid right ?
I told you that I became a stupid like girl drunk my love .
I trust you , believe in you every bit .
I cared , I let you get away on anything .
Most importantly , I loved you .
Sometimes I wish that I have amnesia .
So that I could forget all of those stupid moments where you made me feel like a luckiest girl in the world , the only one in your heart , you little wifey , you most spoiled girlfriend .

Why couldn't you just tell me straight in the face that you don't want me anymore .
That you have another special someone .
That you weren't happy being with me .
That you've had enough of me .
That you just can't accept me for what I am now .
That I'm not enough for you .
That I'm not up to your standards .
Why would you do this to me ?
Why would you want to be with me if you don't think I'm worth it ?

The pain is still here .
The hurt is still here .
The hole in my heart is still here .
The cut still feels fresh .
The moments still stuck like glue .

Glad that your so call GIRLFRIEND called me and told me everything .
If not , I don't know until when you're going to play me like a fool .
You disgust me .
In my back , you've been with another girl and here I am thinking that things wouldn't go wrong between us but I guess I was wrong .
This fairytale wasn't made for me I guess .
I wonder how many lies have you told me since the day we've been together .
I also wonder how many girls have you've been together with .
It always brings me to tears again and again .
You know that you really out did yourself this time .

I've dream of you last night .
For the first time , I actually talked in my sleep .
I woke up in the morning , heart broken all over again .
For all the girls around this world , why would you do this to me ?
You said you were trying to test me .
What kind of a fucking test is that dude ?
You guys went out , meet each other for almost a month .
Without me knowing any bit of it .
You said you two are nothing right now .
So if I didn't caught you , you would go on with her in you two's little relationship ?
You gave me no reason to forgive you this time .
But I have to give you all the credit for hurting me like I've never been hurt before .
To gave me back that vulnerable girl inside of me again .
The girl that you were trying to save .
My insecurity came back .
You made me lost my ability to believe anymore .
I never know you , just one guy like you could hurt me like this .
I've been sick all this time because of you .
Lucky me cause I didn't die .

You were ask fake as the other boys I've met .
But you had my heart in your hands .
Don't you remember ?
I told you to take care of my heart cause I'm leaving it in your hands .
You promise me you would take care of it ,
But you crush it into bits .
Like a piece of paper .
Like glass you let it fall and shattered .
I think you did a most great job .
There's no need to make excuses .
You could just tell me in my face .

Mohd.Hamizan Bin Hassan .
You've had a heart of ice .

Saturday, November 1, 2014

The things that people go through ..

 Good morning peoples of the blog .
Today I have some more reality tell and advice giving in this early morning .
Hope this has something to do with you guys out there okay ?
Now here is goes .

Boys don't understand girls .
Am I right ?
It's hard for them to understand us but it's harder for us to understand them .
Cause a boy could hide a million lies without you discovering it .
And if you happen to find something that made you really curious ,
they'll have something to cover it all up .
That's the hardest part in many relationships .

We are girls that love as much as we can .
We became stupid when it comes to falling in love .
We will believe anything you said or what other people are telling us .
And when everything that someone told you are adding up to everything he does ,
you'll break down , have an emotional melt down and can't stop asking why and why and why .

Them boys would cover it up .
I'm sure that they will cause maybe in their heart there is still a little bit of place for you .
They just don't want to hurt you , as they say .
But they don't know what really hurt us .
If they could have just tell the truth .
The truth hurts but lying cuts it deeper .

You would do anything for them .
You didn't ask much to repay just love , care , loyalty and honesty .
But them ?
They treat you like a toy .
Only need you when they want something .
Only care about the themselves , such selfish creatures .
Treat us as slaves and we kept falling for it .
Treat us as punching bags when they get angry .
Blame us for every wrong that they did .
Disappointing moments that they made us go through alone .
But we stuck through it , we say it's okay a million times but inside there's something dying
and don't show a bit in front of them .
They attack on the weaker ones without thinking .

We kept getting hurt .
Broken so much time until you could say that " I'm used to it " .
We try hard to be everything for them .
We tried to be worthy for them .
We tried to be enough for them .
We tried to be perfect for them .
But yet they choose to hurt , to love another , to let us suffer alone .
It's like a knife cuts even deeper every single time .

It's like they made a fairytale for us to live in ,
but like every fairytale there is always a nightmare .
We're the ones that has always been here .
But where are they ?
Cuddling up with someone new ?
Betrayal .

They gave us something to remember .
Happiness that nobody could give you .
Love you like you've never been love .
But they save the best for last .
The one things that really hurt you the most .
Until you lock yourself in a dark and empty room alone to face everything .
You cried your heart out but what did they do ?
They don't care for even one bit .
They made you feel worthless .
They'll drain you up and left you fight for air .

When they say they need time to think things over .
Have you ever wonder are they really thinking things through ?
That thinking hurt so much .
Cause you don't even know what they are doing behind you .
Long distance relationships are the worst when it comes to this .
An affair .

My advise for you girls out there is stay strong .
If you can't take it anymore , just leave them .
Your heart is too precious for them to made fun of .
But if you really think that he's the one and these all are just some test from God .
Then hold on and hope that one day they would change .
Love you like you love them .
But if they let you go , just be glad that you be taught a lesson and be glad that it happen .

I've been through this many times .
It's like I've been there done that .
But girls , don't even think of revenge cause that would only make things worst for you .
Just be grateful that it had happen .

I'm going through this all the time so just take my advice okay ?
But if you don't want to , I could understand .
Cry , it's okay to cry .
But make sure you smile again okay ?
Lots of love people .
Peace out !